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Transport etiquette

Emma Godfrey, editor, Midwives magazine
Emma Godfrey, editor, Midwives magazine
15.08, 23 July 2010

Usually commuter travel into London is a fairly depressing experience. Everyone’s caught up in their own world, focused on laptops, smartphones, books, newspapers – well anything that avoids looking at, gesturing towards or any way communicating with fellow commuters. And today was no exception – except our usual eight-carriage train was reduced to four. A situation that is bound to cause temperatures to soar, and I’m not just talking about the heat! At one station, a lady boarded the train and was slightly exasperated and as she fixed a ‘baby on board’ badge to her t-shirt, her frustration could be appreciated. She definitely didn’t look obviously pregnant, so I was glad of the badge and courteously offered her my seat, at which point a gentleman jumped up and offered her his! I was pleasantly surprised – as invariably (maybe this is just a London thing), it’s very rare for anyone to offer their seat, so for two of us to do so, made me start to feel that chivalry and human kindness has not completely evaporated.

Towards the end of my journey (I was not distracted on this occasion by modern technology), I noticed another woman who had in fact boarded the train at the same station as the previously badged lady. As she turned sideways, I distinctly saw the outline of what I thought to be a baby bump. Throughout the latter part of that journey, I kept looking at it trying to decide whether it was definitely a bump or simply a food baby… I thought that I would seriously risk embarrassment all round if I offered her my seat and she wasn’t pregnant, and I rationalised that the journey was nearing its end and so I didn’t need to feel too bad about it, except I did… In this day and age with weight and obesity more specifically becoming more and more of an issue, our tendency to be more selfish than selfless, and our general Britishness, it seems that many commuting women during the early stages of pregnancy will face uncomfortable journeys. Perhaps all pregnant women should be issued with badges or some sort of indicator that lets fellow passengers know that there’s a second less obvious commuter heading to work too?


COMMENTS

1. At 16.11 on 24 July 2010, Anonymous wrote:
Why not offer your seat to a pregnant woman, I would as a woman offer my seat to an elderly person male or female, a pregnant woman and a disabled person or any other person who looked in more need of the seat than myself.  If the person chooses to decline my offer I would simply keep the seat and not get upset by their refusal.  I am upholding my own values and principles in offering the seat and can do nothing about any other human beings poor interpretation of my actions.


2. At 11.24 on 25 July 2010, Helen wrote:
I love the idea of having a badge - I myself a good few years ago when 8 months pregnant was travelling out of london on a packed train and no one offered me a seat, after a while of looking people in the eye with no repsonse I gradually pushed the sizeable uterus with fetus kicking into the faces of two travellers until one eventually gave up their seat.  I realise that these travellers had also paid for a seat and expect to get one after a busy day at work, and as you say I am sure it is also difficult to determine obesity from pregnancy (I am only 4ft 8 so did look rather round!); I feel chivalry may have been lost in society due to people taking advantage of and abusing sysytems such as parking permits for the disabled being used by the able bodied, and likewise the badges may just become another item that can be sold on to those that are not worthy of it, chivalry I am afraid may have disappeared as it semms to be all for one and none for all!!


3. At 11.03 on 26 July 2010, Kim wrote:
This is a dilema, more so in London, my poor husband was slapped by a woman for offering his seat, as she wasn't pregnant, as he had thought, just greedy! I agree ' baby on board' badges should be given to all women at booking.


4. At 12.00 on 2 August 2010, Xavier Izaguirre wrote:

Yes, is very embarrassing when people refuse the seat you offer in an upheaval, which makes you less likely to do so.

I think we need to keep doing it though, but I won't like the first time someone younger than me does just that.
 
Modern dilemma.

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